


Painkillers don’t help with busted kneecaps

by Strawb33ryM1lk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Anixitey, Depression, F/F, Five Stages of Grief, Grieving, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Music, Musical References, Oikawa & Yamaguchi are first cousins, Panic Attacks, Singing, Song Lyrics, Songs, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Yamaguchi Needs a Hug, first years make a band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-08-19 07:11:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawb33ryM1lk/pseuds/Strawb33ryM1lk
Summary: Yamaguchi is somewhat of a musical prodigy.He starts a band with some of his first year friends with no intent of it being serious. It was all just for fun after all! Until, the battle of the bands becomes a thing and he’s encouraged to enter with his friends.But, what will happen when disaster rains on him and his family and is forced to compete for the title of the ultimate band for his mother’s wish?Is it even what he wanted?What ever happened to crying in your room playing the ukulele?WARNING: This story does tackle some serious topics, (ex: suicide, depression, etc.) please read at your own pace and advisory.





	1. Chinese New Year

**Author's Note:**

> I'll see you at the movies  
I'll see you with your lipstick on  
I'm looking out for cosmos  
I'm hoping that we'll get along  
It's time for renovation  
It's time for us to make a change  
It's time for a Chinese new year
> 
> Chinese New Year by SALES

The grass was always greener when music played.

Ever since Yamaguchi was little, his life had consisted of music lessons. Whatever instrument could be played, Yamaguchi would learn. Yamaguchi’s Mother, Akari, could never afford to play music when she was little. But, once she had Tadashi, she wanted to give him what she never could. It had always been something that Tadashi and his Mother could bond over.

Like their Sunday morning breakfast. Every Sunday morning, him and his Mother would turn on the radio and make a big breakfast. Time always seemed to stop on the Sunday mornings. It was just him and his Mother. She would take work off just for him on those Sunday mornings all for the sake of singing horribly in the kitchen.

Besides, they always had extra food, so his Mother would make two little bentos and make him take it over to Tsukki’s for lunch. It had come tradition. He would bring over lunch and his guitar and they would just jam out together. Playing whatever tune that came to their head. Tsukishima had gotten a drum set for his 10th birthday and they immediately started playing together. Besides, Tsukishima was the only one that knew that Yamaguchi could play music. 

Until one day at practice, where Yamaguchi had brought his violin ‘cause he had a violin lesson right after volleyball for his music exams. Hinata immediately freaked out and basically demanded that he played. Though the team reprimanded Hinata for his rudeness and freaking Yamaguchi out, they could not deny their curiosity for their teammates gift in music. It had been then that Yachi and Hinata revealed to Yamaguhi and Tsukishima that they could also play music and were quite talented at it.

But that was not where the band had been formed. No, our story starts on a sunny afternoon in Yamaguchi and Tsukshima’s classroom.

Hinata burst through the door, dragging Yachi along with him and slamming his hands down on Yamaguchi’s desk.

”Let’s start a band!” Hinata cried, ignoring the annoyed looks from his fellow classmates.

Yamaguchi blinked. He was thrown into a spiral of confusion and thoughts before Tsukishima’s scoff pulled him out.

”Yeah, right. Why would we do that with you?” Tsukshima said, rolling his eyes.

Hinata puffed out his chest and frowned, looking like a threatened crow.

”I wasn’t asking _you_, Salty-shima.”

Yamaguchi looked towards Hinata and gave him a shy smile.

“It sounds fun, but why us?” He asked in a timid voice. He had only ever played music with Tsukshima and an accompanist during his music exams. Plus, this was so out of the blue. They had talked about their ability to play music, like, last week! They didn’t even know how well each other could play! They could be terrible together for all they knew.

Hinata smirked and replied, “Because, it will be fun! We can take our favourite songs and turn them into our own! We don’t have to compete or anything, it would just be a fun hobby or something.”

Yachi hummed in agreement, “Hinata does have a point. It could be really fun, but Tsukishima also has a point. We don’t even know how well each other play and if we would sound well together or not.”

Hinata frowned, looking defeated.

”W-well,” Yamaguchi stuttered, “If you guys are available after school today, you could come over to my house and have a little jam session. You know, to see each other’s skill level and see how this ‘band’ thing would work.”

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi with a look of betrayal.

_Had he not just heard what he said?_

Yamaguchi snickered at Tsukisima’s face of terror. 

Hinata’s eyes lit up, “Awesome! That would so cool, I’m totally available for after school. Thank you so much!” Yachi smiled at Hinata, who was already heading out the door and bowed towards Yamaguchi, “Thank you. It would be a pleasure! We’ll meet you by the bike racks when classes let out,” And followed Hinata out the door.

Tsukishima scoffed, “Gee, thanks for asking what I thought.”

Yamaguchi giggled behind his hand, “No problem Tsukki! I knew you would agree.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and turned around, hiding the small blush on his cheeks, “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

”Sorry, Tsukki.”

Sadly, for Tsukishima, the school day ended faster then he liked ‘cause he was already following Yamaguchi towards the entrance of the school where they saw Hinata and Yachi waiting for them by the bike racks.

Hinata jumped up and down excitedly, waving aggressively at them, “Hi guys! Are you ready to form a band?!”

“No.” Tsukishima had said in a tired voice.

Yamaguchi waved his hand in a dismissive way and smiled, “Hi guys, my mom’s at work, so we’ll have the house to ourselves.”

Yachi bowed towards Yamaguchi for the second time today, “Thank you so much for inviting us over, I hope your mother doesn’t mind us coming over while she’s out.”

Yamaguchi smiled and started walking towards the entrance, followed by the rest of the small group, “Don’t worry about it, she’s totally cool with it. Though, my cousin might pop over for a little bit.”

Tsukishima frowned, “Careful, he’s annoying as hell and a pain in the ass,” Yamaguchi giggled, “My cousin and Tsukki don’t get along very well. They’ve been like since we were kids.”

Hinata laughed, “Well, that doesn’t surprise me. Salty-shima doesn’t get along with any one!”

Tsukishima scowled at Hinata, “What’d you just say, shorty?”

Yachi stepped in between Tsukishima and Hinata, before they could have a full fledged argument and put out her hands, “C-come on you guys, w-we’re supposed to be getting along.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and walked away, “Whatever, it’s pointless arguing with someone who has a scratch and sniff sticker for a brain.” Yamaguchi side eyed Tsukishima for a moment, “Can you stop acting like a princess for one second of your life?” Yamaguchi whispered quietly. Tsukishima looked at him and smirked, “Never.”

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes and gave a soft smile, “Looks like _he_ was right.” Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi with what looked like a look of shock and betrayal. Yamaguchi laughed and jogged towards Hinata and Yachi who had sped ahead of them. “Come on guys, we can go through this park. It’s like a little short cut to my back yard.”

Surprisingly, the rest of the walk was quite peaceful. There had been no more arguments between Hinata and Tsukishima, so they had actually been able to take in the beautiful scenery of the forest. The trees stood high, as the leaves covered their heads from the harsh sun that had been beaming down that day. The array of greens blending well with the soft baby blue sky as puffs of white clouds danced by. Children laughing and the sounds of bike gears distracting anyone from them day they might of had. Pulling them away from all the problems in the world.

The path behind the park had led them to a series of fences and gates, leading them into someone’s backyard. Yamaguchi stopped in front of a rustic white fence, looking beat up with all years of standing there. Paint chipping off the edges, giving it an old look yet still very youthful. He opened up the fence, motioning for everyone else to come in. Tsukishima began walking through the mini forest and into a open and flat, yet peaceful backyard. At the end of said backyard, was a small, two floor, brown house. There was a patio attached to the house with a table and some chairs hanging out on it. Yamaguchi smiled upon looking at his house. While it was small and a little old, it was still home.

The shutters were a dark hazel nut brown. Yamaguchi remembered when he and his mother painting them together, ending up soaked from head to toe in paint by the end of the day. It really complimented his mothers flower garden that had a wide verity of colours and succulents. The stone fence separating the plants from the fresh cut grass. It seemed like only yesterday that him and Tsukki were watching the birds, trying to name as many as they could, as they bathed in his mothers brand new bird bath. The tall dark brown roof stretching over them as it provided some shade from the glowing golden star.

It was truly a perfect fairy tale.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yamaguchi pulled his keys out from his backpack as he marched up the patio stairs. He stepped in front of Hinata and Tsukishima and unlocked the glass patio door. He slid it open and set his backpack down on the dinning room chair that sat right in front of him.

”Come on in guys,” Yamaguchi said, motioning for them to step into the small, yet somehow large, dinning room, “Just throw your backpacks onto a chair.”

He walked into the next room, the kitchen.

That room had always held a special spot in his heart. With the huge windows bringing in all the beautiful sunlight, it was a perfect place for his mother and his ‘Sunday Musical Breakfast.’ Every Sunday morning, him and his mother would make pancakes and sing along to the radio. It seemed to be the only time they had together, but they cherished every moment of it. The yellow streaks of sun hitting Yamaguchi’s freckled face and bouncing off his mothers long, brunette locks. 

It seemed that any song that came on the radio, they knew it. Even if they didn’t, they still pretended too. Many pancakes would be burned and forgotten about due to the singing, laughing and dancing around the kitchen island with a banana in their hands, pretending to use it as a microphone.

Sunday was the day to break every rule they had set in that house.

Once finished making pancakes, and not bothering to clean up after their mess, they could crash in the TV room and watch any movie that came to mind. Making fun of every silly little detail.

Of course, they would always make to many pancakes too, so that’s how Yamaguchi always ended up at Tsukki’s house with brunch. It had become tradition for them. Though, not on accident.

Sunday was the only day of the week Yamaguchi’s mother had off. Yet, she still managed to find work. She would send her son over to his best friends house so she could get some work done. No matter what it was, she made a job out of it. Cleaning, finishing paper work, laundry, you name it and she made a job out of it. It had become the only way she could cope after Yamaguchi’s father had left them. Yamaguchi had always known why she had sent her son over to Tsukki’s, yet, never chose to make a comment. Of course, he was worried for her. She was going to make herself ill. He just never knew how to approach the subject. It was also the only source of income for the two. She knew how bad Yamaguchi wanted to go to all the Volleyball tournaments and summer camps. Plus, on top of it all, the ultimate goal for them both, Toho Gakuen College of Drama and Music.

It had been their dream school since Yamaguchi was little. 

He took the odd job here and there to help out, but his mother insisted on doing the work. He felt bad every single time. Nothing could change the guilt in his heart, no matter how many times his mother told him it was okay.

Tsukishima’s offer for a apple tore Yamaguchi out of his trance.

He smiled and accepted, taking the fruit from his hand.

”So, where are all the instruments? Your house _is _pretty small,” Hinata said, not quite realizing how rude his words were.

Yachi gawked at him, “Hinata! That’s extremely rude! Y-Yamaguchi’s house is perfect.”

Hinata blinked for a minute, trying to process what he said. Then it seemed to have hit him like a truck, “Oh my god! I am so so sorry! That was extremely rude of me!” He said, bowing multiple times, almost banging his head on the kitchen counter.

Tsukishima did his typical ‘tsk’ and Yamaguchi laughed at the scene happening in front of him, “Don’t worry about it Hinata. It may be small, but it can still hold a ton. The instruments are downstairs, I’ll show you,” He said leading them into the TV room and into a small hallway with a staircase leading one upstairs and one to the basement. 

They all marched down the carpeted stairs. He turned on the light and motioned, “Ta-da!”

It was cozy with a nice looking sofa, coffee table and a TV. There was a desk in the corner with a spinning office chair and a tiny laptop resting on what seemed to be a pile of homework. But, in the middle of it all were the instruments. There was a drum kit off to the side beside multiple different types of guitars. A key board beside the couch with a music stand resting on its side and violins hanging on the walls. There was also a huge closet with all his brass instruments.

As they all stood in awe to take in the musical monstrosity, Hinata ran to the closet bass guitar,

”Let’s rock!”

Thus, the 3 hour music session had begun. With Tsukishima on drums, Yachi on the key board and launchpad, Hinata on bass guitar and Yamaguchi on electric guitar and singing vocals. They had been in the middle of playing ‘_Chinese New Year’_ by SALES when they heard someone calling out Yamaguchi’s name.

”Tashi? Tashi, are you home?”

”Yeah! I’m downstairs,” Yamaguchi called back.

They could hear the thuds of footsteps coming from upstairs towards the stairs that lead into the basement. It seemed that Yamaguchi’s cousin was talking to him because the same voice that was calling Yamaguchi’s name appeared and seemed to only get louder.

“Are you playing again? Don’t you have homework or something?”

At the bottom of the stairs stood Yamaguchi’s cousin and a familiar face.

”Hey, Tooru.”

”Oikawa?! _The_ Grand King?”

”Oh hey, chibi-chan.” 


	2. Play Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You call me on the telephone, you feel so far away  
You tell me to come over, there's some games you want to play  
I'm walking to your house, nobody's home  
Just me and you and you and me alone
> 
> Play Date by Melanie Martinez

_You call me on the telephone, you feel so far away_   
_ You tell me to come over, there's some games you want to play  
I'm walking to your house, nobody's home  
Just me and you and you and me alone_

The first time Tadashi’s mother sent him over to Tsukki’s house with a plate of extra pancakes from their Sunday Musical Morning, he had been very confused. Sunday’s had been _their_ day to hang out and lounge around all day. Do absolutely nothing in each other’s company.

Play games.

Watch movies.

_We're just playing hide and seek_   
_ It's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you  
I don't want to play no games  
I'm tired of always chasing, chasing after you_

She had told him to bring his guitar since Tsukki had gotten a new drum kit. That was the first clue that had been laid out in front of him. It hadn’t been too long after Yamaguchi’s father left them, around a year or two. But, in the past four months, his mother began to work more and more. He began to noticed that was how she coped.

Whenever his mother asked him to practice his instruments, that meant she wanted to go and work some more in silence.

She couldn’t bare to have him watch as she worked herself overtime.

Of course, he complied to his mother’s wishes, not wanting to disturb whatever she was doing.

_I don't give a fuck about you anyways_   
_ Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you?  
You never share your toys or communicate  
I guess I'm just a play date to you_

When he arrived, Tsukki’s mother, Kirumi, had answered the door. As she let him in, she gave him what looked like a smile of sympathy.

Pity, even?

That had been the second clue.

Tsukki and him ate their brunch together, talking about dinosaurs and stars. Then, they spent the whole after noon playing the drums and guitar. Trying to learn any song they had heard on the radio.

_ <strike>I’m sorry mom.</strike> _

_Wake up in your bedroom and there's nothing left to say_   
_ When I try to talk you're always playing board games  
I wish I had monopoly over your mind  
I wish I didn't care all the time_

Tadashi had been wondering what his mother was doing all day. Whenever he asked Auntie Kirumi what his mother was doing, she made up the quickest and saddest lie she could,

”_She offered if you wanted to come over and see the new drum kit I’d been telling her about.”_

That had been the third clue.

_We're just playing hide and seek_   
_ It's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you  
I don't want to play no games  
I'm tired of always chasing, chasing after you_

When Tadashi had started to get ready to leave Tsukki’s house around supper time, Auntie Kirumi had offered if he had wanted to stay for supper and a movie.

He could tell she was hiding her phone behind her back.

His mother texted,

’_Could he stay longer? I’m sorry.’_

That had been the fourth clue.

He complied, not wanting to disrupt whatever peaceful time his mother had been having. Besides, he was having fun with Tsukki. Aunties Kirumi said she was going to make strawberry cheesecake and hot coco.

He got to help in the kitchen.

Like he had done that morning.

_I don't give a fuck about you anyways_   
_ Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you?  
You never share your toys or communicate  
I guess I'm just a play date to you_

The rest of Tsukki’s family had joined them for the movie, all deciding on Jurassic park. After the second movie, Auntie Kirumi’s phone went off. Her smile faltered for a moment, but was back to normal in a moment.

Tadashi caught it.

No one else did.

That had been fifth clue.

_”It’s getting late, let’s get you home now, huh?”_

_Ring around the rosy_   
_ I never know, I never know what you need  
Ring around the rosy, I want to give you, want to give you  
What you need_

When he had gotten back to his house, it had been a quater past ten. Whether or not his mother was awake, he had no idea. But, from what he could tell, she had probably been working. He thought this because the light in the dinning room was on.

She always works in the dinning room.

This had been the fifth clue.

When he had gotten in the house, he called out to his mother,

”_Moma, are you awake? I’m home.”_

He heard his mother call from the dining room.

”_I’m in here, sweetie.”_

When he walked into the dinning room, he dropped his guitar on the floor beside where he stood. His mother, sitting on the dinning room chair, surrounded by piles of paperwork and her laptop. The smell of coffee lingering in the air. The empty cup lounging in the sink. She was forcing a tired smile as he couldn’t even smile. He had a look of shock and confusion.

His mother had sent him off so she could work.

”_I thought Sunday’s were our days...”_

_”I’m sorry, sweetie. I really am, I just-“_

_”Moma, you lied.”_

_I don't give a fuck about you anyways_   
_ Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you?  
You never share your toys or communicate  
I guess I'm just a play date to you_

Yamaguchi stood on the stage, tears willing up in his eyes.

His hands clung to the microphone in front of him.

All eyes were on him.

_ <strike>His mother’s eyes weren’t on him.</strike> <strike></strike> _

She was watching him.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. 

Tsukishima had set down his drum sticks, Hinata’s hands holding onto the strings of his bass and Yachi’s hands by her side, not touching the key board.

Tadashi looked up into the crowd and lightly spoke,

_“You know I give a fuck about you everyday_   
_ Guess it's time that I tell you the truth  
If I share my toys, will you let me stay?  
Don't want to leave this play date with you.”_

[Play Date by Melanie Martinez.](https://youtu.be/Nxs_mpWt2BA)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, these type of chapters will be used through out the story. They’re kinda like fillers??? But they contain spoilers and hints towards the next chapter or will explain things from the previous chapter, like this one.
> 
> Yeah, so, whether or not you skip these chapters is up to you, but you have been warned they do contain some spicy stuff,,,
> 
> Also, the title of this story is a combination of two songs, Painkillers by Beach Bunny and Bust Your Kneecaps by Pomlamoose, that will are heavily inspired and used through out the story. The really help guide the plot :))  
They’re really good songs so I suggest to give them a listen!!
> 
> Also, should I make a playlist on Spotify for this story?? What are your thoughts??
> 
> Alright, tootles for now :)
> 
> Strawb33ry M1lk
> 
> PS why are there two note thingys??? Is it broken or something??? Send help????

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet yeet my friends.  
So, this is my first ever story on AO3 and I have no idea how to use it, so please have mercy on me. But, for real tho, I really hope you enjoy this story. I’ve been working on it for a little over a year now. 
> 
> I also just wanna put out there that I am awful at update schedules, so I’m gonna try and post at least two chapters a month ‘cause, I really want to make each chapter at least 1,500-5,000 words long, so that could take a while especially with school and extra curricular activities.
> 
> But, with that being said, I really hope that you do enjoy this story and let me know what you think of it in the comments below! I wanna hEAR YOUR THEORIES.
> 
> WARNING: This story does tackle some serious topics, (ex: suicide, depression, etc.) please read at your own pace and advisory.
> 
> Strawb33ryM1lk


End file.
